As we sailed off in the opposite direction of the sunset, I looked at the receding shoreline and said “Goodbye little red suitcase, I hope we can meet again somewhere.” Once more we were sailing out of Ft. Lauderdale with one of our suitcases missing.  To quote Yogi, well you know the quote.  St. Anthony made regular appearances in my 2023 cruise blog.

We had packed and sent six suitcases ahead, each smaller than what we usually send and each weighing under 30 pounds. (To understand this read my last post.)  The one that was not in our room was the one that had the stuff in it that we use to organize the stuff in our room, including the hanging device that goes on closet on doors into which most people place shoes but which we hang on the bathroom door to organize our 133 days supply of meds and toiletries.  We are missing the magnets that we put on the back of the cabin door for hats, sweaters and the lanyards on which hang the keycards necessary to all aspects of cruise life.  Then there is my travel scale and some items of clothing including, probably, the collar tabs for my dress shirts (as least I haven’t found them in another suitcase).

According to FedEx and the Luggage Forwarding service it was delivered to Holland America in Florida, and according to Holland America it was delivered from their warehouse to the port.  They say they are conducting an exhaustive search of the ship but three other HAL ships went on their ways from Ft. Lauderdale yesterday as well.  While Holland America was conducting their search I was on the phone, before we pulled out of port, trying to engage someone shoreside to look BEFORE we set sail.

The AI assistant on the other end of the line heard the word “Baggage” and transferred me, not to lost properties but to some poor sales agent.  At one point she asked me, in frustration, “Why did you push the button for a sales agent?” 

I didn’t,” I replied, HAL’s Machine sent me to you? “ 

“But Why?”

“It’s the never ending question of algorithms, perhaps they borrowed the answering machine from my health insurance provider, they’re good at misdirecting calls.”

She was as frustrated as I, best to give her a laugh.  But I did feel sorry for her because she did not know a lot about the world she was sending tourist out into.  For Instance “I can give you a number to call Monday.”

“We are at sea Monday, and I don’t have cruise ship roaming. Too expensive?”

“Oh.”

“I’ll be in port on Tuesday and ATT has roaming there.”

She gave me an 800 number.

“Did you know that most 800 numbers don’t work from abroad.  And those that do charge international rates.” 

“Really?”

“Until recently they did not even work from Alaska.”

“Wow.” Elongating the ooos.

See what I mean.

While I was calling, I got a “call waiting” signal.  It probably was from a health insurance provider trying to sell me a Medicare package not available in Alaska.  I have gotten an average of 5 calls a day since mid-January.  When I got off the plane in Fort Lauderdale there were 3 unanswered calls.  One had reached me at the boarding gate in Seattle and one while I was standing at the baggage carousel in Fort Lauderdale.  The agent is a real person and starts talking.  I try to interrupt “wait a minute,” “stop please”  “STOP!”   They never do until the end of the paragraph.  Usually I reply “is this plan good for Alaskans?”  

I know It is not.  Every year I check with my local health center’s Medicare navigator and every year it’s the same.  Lots of Part D but not much else.  At the end of the conversation, they say “I’ll put this number on the no call list.”  They never do. I keep getting calls.  On the last  I replied “Look, I don’t want to sound like a male Karen, but may I speak with your supervisor?”

“Click.”  Sorry for all of you real Karens, I know you’re nice people but I needed to deliver the line.  To get it out of my system.

So I felt sorry for the poor lady on phone duty at HAL early Saturday evening.  She was a nice lady but I did not take the after call questionnaire because the machine would have asked “Did the agent resolve your problem?” and the answer would have to be “no.”  “Was the agent knowledgeable” The answer would have to “no.” I didn’t want to go on record saying that would hurt the agent. It wasn’t her fault that the algorithm sent me to her.

So it is Sunday morning.  I slept past sunrise, and am writing while waiting for Suzi to wake up.  We had a nice sunset last night but the sail away was sparsely attended.  The whole ship is sparsely attended.  We checked in late to avoid the crowds, but the check in lady said it was like that all afternoon, only 747 people on this leg of the journey on a ship that holds 1400.  It was nice and a bit spooky at the same time.

Boarding was delayed because the ship needed deep cleaning.  We are on some sort of code to prevent the spread of GI distress.  For Instance, we did not have to attend a lifeboat drill, not even the new type of drill where you just go to your lifeboat station and check in.  When we went to our lifeboat station no one was there to check us in.  When we asked guest services they said “You’re five star, you know what to do.”  I guess we do. “But watch the video. okay” 

“Okay.”

During this phase of the disease prevention protocol there are no salt shakers on the table.  If you want salt or pepper a waiter applies it.  It is annoying but comforting at the same time. At the lido only staff touches food.  I wonder how long this will last.  Long enough, I hope, to kill the bug that visited the ship last time.

In the meantime

“St Anthony, St. Anthony please look around.”

“I’ve lost my little red suitcase and it must be found.”

Thank you St. Anthony, and Thank you Patrice for that little prayer which I repeated often on our 2023 cruise when our suitcase took its own long strange trip but ended up in Sitka before us.  I even visited the Shrines of St. Anthony in Panama City and Tonga with my petition.  By Tonga my friend Peter suggested that I shift my petitions to St. Jude, the patron of lost causes.  If the exhaustive search does not turn up “little red” Panama City is a week from Monday.